Nice Guy Syndrome

Nice guys finish... well, you know the rest. In tennis, it is as true as it is in boxing, football, and hockey. All sports are built around the concept of aggression. You are trying to take something from your opponent - the thrill of victory, the respect of others and the satisfaction of a job well done. Some of this you can share with your opponent, but most of it is a zero sum game - for you to win they must lose and, more importantly, for them to win, you must loose and if they are competitive in the least they will be doing everything in their power to crush and humiliate you. That should make you angry. It should make you run harder, hit with more authority, and use every trick shot in the book to wrench victory from their greedy paws. But, it doesn't. You are nice. You have been taught to share with others, not to dominate them. You fear that if you beat them, they will stop liking you. You worry that if it even looks like you are "trying too hard", your opponent will be appalled and offended. These are not wholly unsubstantiated fears - some people are like that. They are just out here for a romp in the sunshine, not some vicious, macho, pissing contest. Oddly those people are often the most aggressive players of all, miscalling balls, challenging your calls, complaining to the referee about your boorish behavior. They possess a precious tool - a built-in excuse for their aggressive behavior. All they have to do is detect the slightest evidence that you want to win and they feel perfectly within their rights to "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!" upon you.

You cannot afford to be a nice guy or gal in tennis. You can be polite, fair, classy, quiet, even affable between points, but during the point, you must give no quarter and take no prisoners. Even the impulse to hold back a little when you get that short, high, slow floater must be conquered. If you allow yourself those feelings, you will make the most egregious and unpleasant errors. Those errors will not endear your opponents to you but will lose you their respect, and it is respect, not affection, that we are looking for on the tennis court. Most players don't mind being beaten by a player they assume to play at a "higher level" but hate having even a close match with a player they think is below them, so beat your opponent 6-0,6-0, and they will worship you and feel pleased and honored that you deigned to destroy them.

Nice Guy Syndrome
• Chief Complaint
  • "I feel ambivalent about beating my opponent!"
• Symptoms(Sx):
  • lackluster play
  • low energy
  • poor footwork
  • depression
• Signs(S):
  • lack of aggression
    Pathophysiology(Px):
    • fear of success
      • empathy
      • niceness
    Diagnostic Tests (Tx):
    • vizualize crushing your foe
      • pleasant or unpleasant
  Treatment(Rx):
  • find a reason to win
    • earn opponet's respect
    • earn your own respect
    • be the better player
      • most opponents don't mind being beaten by a better player
• Differential Diagnosis:
  • none
• Prevention
  1. develop reasons for beating opponents